Ahoy mateys! It be that time of year again! Yer minnows be back to school, the leaves are turnin’, and ye be tired of pumpkin-spiced everythin’.
But never fear me hearty, International Talk Like a Pirate Day is on the horizon!
We know the only beverage that merits ‘spice’ in the title is rum, and we know that thar be few things funner than talking in the manner of yer favorite (fictional) pirate! Aaaar!
As always, the bolded items can be procured at yer local Baaartell’s.
So grab yer mug, yer maties, yer parrot and we’ll help you find where “X” marks the spot!
PIRATE FACT: Although the seafaring bandits of yore did sing shanties, use ‘colorful’ language and fun nautical terms, many of the tropes we now associate with pirates come from two related works of fiction.
- Robert Louis Stevenson’s enduring and much-adapted work “Treasure Island”
Stevenson’s “Treasure Island” popularized, amongst other concepts, treasure maps with “X” marking the spot and pirates with peg legs and parrots perched on their shoulders.
- Disney’s 1954 adaptation of “Treasure Island”
Actor Robert Newton’s portrayal of the two-faced buccaneer Long John Silver in “Treasure Island”, the non-Disney sequel “Long John Silver” and the television show “The Adventures of Long John Silver” cemented what we think of as the ‘pirate accent’. Some believe Newton affected the accent of Britain’s ‘West Country’. This area was the home of some of history’s most notorious non-fictional pirates including Edward Teach, better known as Blackbeard!
Our fist port o’ call be the galley! An thar be nothin’ more piratey than a bottle rum, so here be fo-aaarrr of our most favoritist rummy recipes.
A Classic Grog
Sounds gross, sips easy
PIRATE FACT: On the high seas, grog was used to stretch the rum supply. With a splash of lime juice, it also helped stave off scurvy.
1. Add the brown sugar and 2 oz. of warm water to the shaker, shake vigorously to dissolve the sugar.
2. Add lime juice & shake a bit more.
3. Add rum, the remaining 2 oz., ice to chill. Shake.
4. Pour over crushed ice.
5. Serve with a lime wedge.
Fruit, 2 kinds of rum, and tasty as all get out.
1. Pour all liquids into a shaker with ice and shake vigorously until chilled.
2. Strain into your glass of choice
3. Add cherry garnish, if you please.
Dark N’ Stormy
The great grandfather of the Rum & Coke.
Fresh meets timeless.
1. Place mint leaves, sugar, along with splashes of both rum and lime juice into a tall glass and muddle until the sugar has dissolved.
2. Fill the glass with ice.
3. Pour the remaining rum and lime juice over the ice
4. Fill the rest of the way with the club soda/carbonated water.
5. Stir to mix.
6. Add additional sugar to sweeten to your taste.
7. Add garnish if desired.
Piña Colada Mocktail
Creamy & Fruity marks the spot!
This recipe is a crowd-pleaser that skips the alcohol but keeps the essence of what makes a Piña Colada a satisfying blend of refreshing fruitiness and creamy indulgence.
1. Chill all ingredients, except the ice leave it on the counter for 8-10 minutes. Just kidding, keep the ice in the freezer until the next step.
2. Pour all of the chilled ingredients and 3 cups of ice into a blender and blend until smooth.
3. Less ice will generate more of a chilled beverage, where more will be slushier, so add and blend until you get to your desired consistency.
CLASSIC PIRATE JOKE:
Q: How much does a pirate pay for corn?
A: Buck an ear.
Next, follow yer map to the X ‘cuz… thar be gold! Keep it simple or do it up! Use butcher paper or a brown paper shopping bag to craft a treasure map or a series of clues to lead to small treats or a handful of coins.
Brown paper has a great texture, but make sure you have pencils, pens, or crayons that will show up legibly.
Standard operating procedure at our hideout is to draw crude approximations of things around the house (e.g. couches, tables, etc.) with an arrow indicating where a clue is hidden or taped. Leave a subsequent clue leading to the final prize. Our recommendation is to start at the end and work towards the beginning to reduce the chance of creating a dead-end in your clue chain.
Enhance the verisimilitude by ending the hunt in a sandbox or a shallow, lightly filled hole in the yaaard. Ziploc bags help keep everything sand, or soil free.
Treasure hunt finished? Continue yer revelry with more aarrrr & aarrrr. Gather yer family and make it a movie night. Here’s a Treasure Island trio suitable for children of most ages.
- (Walt Disney presents) Treasure Island (1950)
The aforementioned Robert Newton steals the show of the classic of classics as the traitorous pirate, Long John Silver.
- Muppet Treasure Island (1996)
Tim Curry takes on the role of Mr. Silver in this Muppet send-up. Charming in the most Muppety way possible.
- Treasure Planet (2002)
Joseph Gordon-Levitt, David Hyde-Pierce, Martin Short, and Emma Thompson show off their voice acting chops in this underrated futuristic animated version of the timeless tale.
A PIRATE PARLANCE PRIMER:
Avast!: look out!/pay attention!
Me Hearty: A term of endearment and kinship
Privateer: A seafaring entrepreneur who is sponsored by a governing body to attack and plunder their enemies.
Shiver me timbers: an exclamation of surprise or disbelief
Scurvy Dog: an insult that frequently implies laziness or strong contempt, likely derived from the listless nature of sailors that were unlucky enough to be afflicted by the disease caused by vitamin C deficiency.
Whether Talk Like a Pirate Day is an excuse to drink rum, a full family event, or all of the above, we hope our guide provides you a map for a successful piratey celebration.