'Tis the season to deck the halls ... and manage holiday stress as you go shopping, prepare meals and host family and friends. The logistical and emotional aspects of the holidays can feel like a lot to navigate, but you are far from alone. In fact, the American Psychiatric Association reports 46% of adults worry about affording the costs associated with the holidays, while 40% are stressed about finding the perfect gifts for loved ones.
Luckily, there are some concrete steps you can take to mitigate this stress before it even begins — and the time to start is now, before your tinsel is tangled and all you want to do is relax. After all, it's your holiday too, and you deserve to savor each moment. If you're ready to take back your own holiday experience, try these suggestions and enjoy the season with intention.
Identify and Write Down Clear Priorities
Maybe you care most about your kids getting meaningful presents, or perhaps you're ready to get out of town and leave all your worries behind. You can preserve and prioritize the activities you're most excited about this holiday season without other obligations getting in the way. But this takes some meaningful reflection, probably before the first holiday decor even hits the shelves.
Carve out some time to journal about your top priorities for the holiday season. Identify these, keep them in a prominent place and refer back to them frequently. These steps will help you keep them at the forefront of your mind.
Ask yourself the following questions to start your prioritizing:
What are my must-do tasks for the holidays versus might-do tasks?
What activities are truly optional, and something I can even opt out of at the last minute if I'm tired or stressed?
What feelings and emotions do I want to express and prioritize this holiday season, such as serenity, joy or excitement?
How will I say "no" when a commitment doesn't align with these priorities, especially if I feel like I'm being guilted into doing it?
These responses will help organize your goals and keep you on track.
Create a Realistic Schedule
In October, it might seem doable to have a major function to attend every day of your holiday "break," but when the events begin to arrive, it might feel like too much. To prevent this ahead of time, you can try some intentional scheduling strategies in advance.
1. Ask the Whole Family to Prioritize Their Favorite Events
Each member of your family can choose their favorite holiday events. Allowing individual access to a centralized calendar can keep things organized. With these in place, you can let other nonessential events fall away. You can even color-code these events based on priority.
2. Rethink the Importance of the Exact Date
There's a tendency to pack events in right around the actual holiday when there's often no reason it has to be that specific day. Instead, turn a Christmas event into a New Year's bash, or move a Hanukkah celebration to a date that works best for all. While the day of may be ideal, your priorities are family and tradition. A slight nudge in date might be as effective and meaningful without feeling overwhelmed or stressed.
3. Space Events Out Further
When it comes to managing holiday stress, you can also schedule days to rest between events to ensure you don't overbook yourself. On these days, intentionally plan nothing, or rally those relatives in town to join a relaxing new tradition, such as pedicures or a casual drive to check out holiday lights together.
Budget Wisely
If financial stress is casting a cloud over your holiday cheer, it might be time to rethink last year's budget. Set an amount for each person you are buying for and prioritize online shopping so you can easily compare prices and stick to that amount. Use that journal with your priorities to write ideas you know might matter to the recipient, giving meaningful gifts over expensive ones.
Try these budget hacks to make your money go further this holiday:
Downsize large gifts for business associates and bosses, or share the expense with coworkers. For example, your boss might enjoy a $60 holiday gift basket as much as a $100 option.
Purchase a book and include a personalized note. Choosing a book that you find meaningful often costs about $20. It also doubles as a card when you write a special note on the book's first page. This can serve as a go-to conversation piece, too.
Change your habit of buying multiple presents for a single person. Instead, prioritize one meaningful present that will likely end up being cheaper than two or more.
Delegate and Collaborate
You no longer have to prepare a multiple-course meal for your entire family alone. But asking your aunt to bring the wine and your sister to bring a salad might not nearly be enough to mitigate holiday stress. Instead, communicate your excitement to have everyone contribute to a potluck-style meal this year. Have each family bring a dish they love, whether home-cooked or purchased. For yourself, choose a dish that can be cooked simply throughout the day in a slow cooker, so you can step away from the kitchen and still be ready for dinner.
Distribute the workload by offering everyone options, delegating a food category rather than a specific item. Tell your brother to bring a vegetable, for example. You can also combine meal prep with family bonding by having a cookie-making party, where everyone chips in with dough, icing and toppings. Remember to remind your loved ones to bring empty storage containers so they can enjoy delicious leftovers when the party's over.
Take Self-Care Seriously
If your long-lost cousin wants to drop in for tea in the morning, but that's when you usually fit in your must-have exercise class, politely decline and counter with a suggestion to meet for lunch instead. Prioritizing your self-care often means saying "no, thank you." Instead, provide an alternate plan that works best for you. For many, this is hard to do, but it can ultimately recharge your spirit and keep the meaning of the season front and center.
If you set boundaries, delegate tasks, establish a budget and ensure you have time to reflect before the holidays arrive, you can enjoy them for what they are intended to be — a special and relaxing time to bond with loved ones.